Game
by Annamia
Summary: It’s just a game we’re playing, a game we play every night."


_Author's note: the last one for tonight, i promise. tamara has satisfactorily worked through all of our issues. and no, we're still not sure what said issues are. suffice it to say that there are a lot of them.  
Disclaimer: did you expect me to change my position after all this time? i'm still not her.  
--kyra_

* * *

Game

"I hate you."

No you don't. I know you don't. You know you don't too. It's just a game we're playing, a game we play every night. You know your lines. I have none. My role is to be silent. I know the danger of speaking, know that one wrong word will send it spiraling into reality. I don't want that. You don't hate me. But you could. You could so easily hate me. So I say nothing, letting you play your part to the end.

"I never want to see you again."

You don't mean it. You couldn't live without me. You know that as well as I do. This is just part of the game. You've barely gotten started. Soon, you will have me believing you. That too is scripted. Every night you work up to it, and every night I believe you. I know that you don't mean it, yet I still believe you. Why is that? Why does my heart not recognize it for the game that it is?

"Just stay the hell away from me, understand?"

Oh, I understand. I understand perfectly. I can decode your words as easily as if they weren't coded to begin with. You want me. You want me badly. I can almost taste your desire, and it makes me smile. I love the power I have over you. I love hearing you deny it and then seeing you come to me, arms out and face streaked with tears, willing me to take you back.

"What are you doing here? I told you to get out!"

Maybe one day I won't take you back. I am stronger than you are. I can live without you. You cannot live without me. We both know this. It is always you who caves first, always you who comes to me. I have never come to you. Even in the beginning, before we learned the game perfectly, you came to me. Never the other way around. I will never come to you. I can live without you, and you know it.

"Why don't you do everyone a favor and just _die_?"

That isn't scripted. You're improvising. Why aren't you sticking to the script? It's worked for us every other night. Why are you changing the parts? Do you want me to react? I won't. I'll stick to the rules. I say nothing. I never say anything. You do the talking. You always do the talking.

"You don't get it, do you? This isn't some kind of stupid _game_, you know!"

You mean it. I know you mean it. You've gone below the belt one time too many. I won't take you back this time. You've broken the rules one too many times. You knew it was coming. I can see it in your eyes as you realize what you've done. Your eyes widen and your mouth falls open, but I don't care. You spoke with your heart, and I know you told the truth. You can always try to deny it, but I know. I always know. I know you better than you know yourself. I read you like a book. You meant it.

"I didn't mean it. Lucius, you know I didn't!"

You meant it. You don't think you did, but you meant it. You've always meant it. You hate me even as you love me. I know it. I've always known it. But I've stuck to the script as well as you have. I've taken you back. But not now. Now I'm improvising as much as you are. I won't take you back. It's too late.

"Please… I'll do anything!"

No you won't. I know you won't. You just think you will. You shouldn't make promises you can't keep. It will only lead you into trouble. But you don't know that, do you? You're still naïve, aren't you? You'll learn. You'll learn not to promise when you can't deliver. I should make you try, just to teach you. But I won't. I won't stray that far. I still like you, even though I use you. I've always used you. You just didn't realize it.

"I…"

Stop talking. It's only hurting you more. Accept your mistake. You won't make it again. You'll find someone else, someone who will take you. Maybe that will be the last one, maybe not. Who knows? You might have learned your lesson, you might not have. I cannot know. Only you can know. Only you can determine whether you've learned.

"Please?"

You need to be taught, and I must teach you. I don't want to. Know that. I liked you. Not as much as you liked me, but I liked you. I still like you. That won't change. But you don't know that. You can't know that. I will never tell you. I cannot. You need to learn. And I need to teach you. I need to learn too. I need to learn to protect myself, to stay with the script, to not give way. I don't like it either. But I must. "No."


End file.
